If Your New Start Here

Monday, January 17, 2011

Just Another Cold Day in January

It was snowing when I woke up. 

I had 3 dogs to take care of today, My husband had to leave by 4:30 a.m. for work.  I needed to be out the door by 6:30 in order to make the long trek to Hoffman Estates.  Country roads to busy roads... which lead to highways and more roads filled with traffic.
After Fridays appointment I didn't set my hopes as high.  I felt it, that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I'm lucky enough to have a close parking spot today.  There are usually people circling the parking lot like vultures.  Waiting for a spot to open.  Even the nearby lots are packed.  It always seems so busy.

Inside the waiting room is empty today.

I got here early today, and get to go right into the Ultrasounds appointment.  I know the routine by now... And I lay there waiting for the results.  My follicles are still not large.  It is time to move on.  Time to try another medication, and more tests. 

I leave the Fertility Center empty hearted again.  Time to try and make a happy face.  I still have the rest of the day full of things to do and place to go.  A Co-Worker of mine is having a shower on Friday and I needed to get a gift still.  Considering I'm working mostly opening to close the next few days I need to go now.  How horrible is that... needing to get a baby gift while experiencing this today. 

I have actually been getting quite a few invitations for baby Showers.  So many blessed friends in my life!  Please god let me be that person one day... soon!


  1. Dear Kait, I can't say I know what your going thru or feeling. But I can say that my daughter knows exactly how you feel. She has always had a dream of having children, and would be a wonderful Mother. And it breaks my heart to say she is unable to make her dream come true ♥ And since I am her Mom, I feel her pain thru our heartstrings! Which I believe in completely. I know her pain thru her ♥ I will prayer that your dream comes true, the same as I pray for my daughter. Try to be happy Kait, sometimes dreams do come true!! xoxo :))

  2. Oh Kait... My love, my bestie... I, too, cannot say I know what you are going through but I know the pain on wanting... needing.. something so badly and it seeming like its taking forever to arrive... Be patient. You put your body through a lot and it WILL repay you with the greatest gift there is :) Don't look down on this, just look at it as another baby step (he he) to this life changing experience! You are still young and even though it's been a year, which seems like a terribly long time, it's not... Not for this. Patience is key :) Keep smiling and don't bury your feelings...

  3. It's true what they say, that a mother feels everything their child does. I am supppose to be able to say encouraging words, wipe away tears, make hurts go away, give good advice and keep you safe. Being a mom is more than carrying a baby for just nine mths, its a life time. Its a title I love though even thru the hills and valleys of life and one I still keep praying will come your way. It is then that you will truly know what I am going through right now as well. I love you and Joe with all my heart. Whatever will be will be. We'll just have to wait and see. LOVE YOU!!!

  4. Its looking like a sad lonely road. But its not lonely....you have us....sad, maybe for awhile....Life is what it is through all its ups and downs. Take a breath, rejoice in each day as best you can and be grateful for all the haves, even if life doesn't bring " All your Dreams come true". It's real tough being a "MOM" sometimes.

  5. My sweet, dearest baby sister. I wish I could have hugged you that day....held you close and explained that all great things come to those who wait. God knows your deepest desires Kit-Kat....He knows every longing in your heart. And while this road seems like it's so full of pain and suffering, trust me when I say, God shall provide and he shall bless you both in ways unimaginable. Please have faith my Love, as I do for you both, that God is growing you and preparing you for His MAGNIFICENT GLORIOUS plan....and soon, soon you will be surrounded by little feets and hands and coo's and laughter and all the joyous, frustrating, tear filled, momentous moments that having children brings. Worry not for today or tomorrow....God has you covered. I love you with all my heart.....and I am ALWAYS here for you. Remember,....a solid 7 minutes away! LOL!!!


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