You can't be cheap when it comes to Infertility

So the truth about infertility treatment is that it doesn't run cheap.  I am blessed enough for my husband to have some amazing insurance when it comes to all of my consultation, bloodwork and ultrasound appointments.  Unfortunately, when it comes to the medications, I am having to cough up all out of pocket costs.  One vial of the current medication I am on was running me from $55-$89.  Each day I was needing to take 1 vial, then I was increased to 2, and then 3... and yes finally 4.  This medication needs to be taken from 8-14 days.  Add that all up in your head, and you've got a lot of "dough" for us to come up with.  The worst part is that this is only a fraction of the entire costs for the build up on a procedure that may "not" work.

The key is to stay positive.  Don't think about the what if's.  This is not always possible when you throw life's everyday stresses into the jive.  That's when I depend on prayer, it helps me get through all my tough days.  Last night while I was laying in bed I spent a long time praying, praying for the outcome I needed today.

Today was my second follow up of the week.  The largest follicle I had on Monday was an 8mm, I need to be at around 18mm before we can go forward with an IUI.  Today my right ovary finally kicked it into gear and was producing an 10mm follicle.  Too little too late for my pocket book.  My reaction to the medications only took place after I was on the triple dose of Bravelle for 2 days.  It's still not where it should be for this late in my cycle so we decided to wait until my next cycle.  It was too big of a risk for me financially. 

Now back at square one, but at least we have found a mediation with can stimulate my follicles!!!  I feel like I finally can put that big strike as on my scoreboard.  The waiting period does seem to take forever.  I now have 2 weeks before I can start more medication to bring on my next cycle.

Since I have been slacking on my "Photo Challenge" I decided to have a throw all day.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
I started this journal when I started my journey with infertility.  It has been my place to log the medications, appointments and information I have gained or used.  It is what helps me remember all of the different things I need to do.  These days it's what helps me see everything I have been through already.

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

I have met some even more amazing people through Adrienne.  One of the sweets and funnest women i know is Mary!  She has the most amazing personality I have ever met, she is so much fun to be around. 

I think this picture speaks for itself, and shows how funny we are together!!  Jenn is in the background.




Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
I don't really have just 1 person who has gotten me through the most, it's actually a group of people.  My family.  They are by my side through thick and thin. 

**Photo taken by RB Photography**

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
This challenge makes me laugh, especially this day.  We all have those friends which bring out your wild side.  You can act like 100% yourself and say anything and everything that's on your mind.  That girl is Dolly.  I met her when I was a dental assistant.  I couldn't imagine life without her!!!

Everyone needs a Dolly in their life!!!

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
This is an easy one.  My alarm clock.  I always try to pick the best songs for my ipod to wake me up to and get me in the mode to get out of bed.  It never seems to work, I always find myself hitting the snooze button as many times as I can get away with.

(Please excuse the dust.)

Pink or Blue

I have been slacking on my photo challenge.  I have realized this weekend how all the "little" things can wait till later and spending time with loved ones is what should be first on your priority list.  Saturday was spent celebrating my husband's birthday with family.  It was great to have so many people we cared about together. 

Sunday I spent the morning with my husband shopping for a friend's baby shower gift.  Her party was later that afternoon, I know... talk about procrastinating.  I found myself wondering the aisle's at target looking down at the list and then back at the items in front of me.  I felt in a trance, my husband tried to call off things from the list next to me for suggestions of gifts.  I went back and forth between the aisles not knowing what items to pick, wishing I was shopping for my own baby.  I finally decided on a few items, went to get some other things my husband needed and found myself thinking I needed something different.  So I went back alone to the aisles to pick out a new group of gifts.  I was so indecisive.  It was hard to focus on the reason I was there. 

When leaving the store I found my eye's welled up with tears.  It is a hard set of emotions that hit me like a huge wave crashing down.  I gulped back my sobs and blinked away my tears.  My husband looked over at me and said, "One day it will be us too". 

In Kait fashion, I arrived late to the shower.  The room was filled with little blue decorations everywhere you looked.  My friend, Megan was having a baby boy.  I felt surprisingly happy while there, I didn't think about the ups and downs I have been going through with my fertility treatments or the why not me's. 

I sat next to another friend, Shannon and her two week old daughter, Kinze.  It was so surreal to see the tiny little toes and fingers.  She made the sweetest squishy faces, some with anger then followed by happy faces.  So many emotions already.  Shannon was so cute to watch, already a protective mother to her sweet little angel.

Today I had a follow up appointment with my doctor's office.  I was hoping this new medication, and the fact that we have now doubled the dose, would have resulted in the results we needed.  Instead it was more of the same, no good news, yet.  Tonight I get to increase my medication to a triple dose.  Let's pray for larger follicles by wendnesday's appointment.

A poem I found on another blog is one that I find fitting for today's post.

Pink or Blue

God, pink or blue, I do not care

Its sex is neither here nor there.

I pray you see my longing heart,

And in motherhood, let me take part.

I ask this out of selfishness,

But pray you grant it none the less.

I will do my best to raise them right,

To ignite in them your holy light.

And if it not be, Comfort me please.

Mend my heart and give me peace.

And help me to see and understand,

Your will is much greater than what I had planned.

Hubby turns 30 & Photo Challenge Day 5

Today my husband is celebrating his 30th Birthday. I guess you could say the real celebrating part is going to happen this weekend since he is working all day today. But I always want him to know how much I care so I planned a quite, realizing evening with just me and the "girls". Which for those of you who don't know, the "girls" means our Mastiff Heidi and 2 Chihuahua's Daisy & MacKenzie. I hope he wishes for the same thing I did on my birthday... I'll keep you posted if it comes true soon!

Being in the normal fashion which I have been in.. which is late.  I waited till the last minute to get the "Rauch" tradition Heidi's Cake.  So we ended up with one that day pink and blue roses on it. hehe.  Please god tell me it's a sign for what is yet to come.

I find myself in anticipation for tomorrow as well.  I have another appointment with my doctors office in Hoffman Estates.  I will be having the "usual", which basically means bloodwork and ultrasound. 

My mother was watching TV this morning and the Today show was featuring Fox News Anchor, Alisyn Camerota.  Like me, she suffered from Infertility.  For a long time she kept is a secret.  Since I am still dealing with infertility, I have discovered how supporting it can feel to talk about it.  It helps to hear other people's stories who have or are going through the same things as myself.

If you missed the special on the Today show, you can catch it here:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I can't forget Photo Challenge Day Five - A picture of your favorite memory

I'd say this ones goes to the day I met Ms. Adrienne.  We were both brides-to-be and sharing that bond we met on Project Wedding.  It's a place brides can go to share anything & everything having to do with your wedding.  



I have found myself another life long friend.

Skinnygirl Night Out

So I'm sure a few of you have watch the reality show "The Real Housewife's of New York".  If you haven't you have got to of seen Bethanny Frankel on her own reality show "Bethenny Getting Married", "Skating with the Stars", or seen one of her books.  Tonight she was having a gathering of women to share her books and gossip. 

Any excuse for a girls night with the Bestie, Adrienne is always good to me.    First we stopped at target in Joliet.  We always like to scope out new clearance section that have not already been picked through by us.  We scored some adorable matching brown gloves!!

We also stopped by a local book stores in hopes of being able to get a book which I could get autographed. It was too late, they brought all of the books to the Theater for the night.

So onward to the Rialto Square Theater.  After traumatically driving through the lowest parking garage ever made to man and being forced to go through all 3 floors twice, we wandered the streets to find some food.

While looking we did find some rather interesting store displays, and that's when I realized we were not in Kendall County anymore.

We ended up a cozy restaurant Thayer's before seeing Bethenny.  Please be warned you need a reservation, unless you don't mind eating at the bar.

While relaxing and filling up our tummy's we saw quite a few woman who appeared to think they were part of the "Housewife's of Joliet". Made me think, if you were offered a spot on a reality show, would you take it? What type of a show would it be about?

I had been to a wedding once at the Rialto Square Theater.  It is an amazing venue!

Special Thanks to the Officer who helped take our picture.

 

         

I was happy to find one of her books to purchase which I don't have.  Unfortunately I never was able to get it signed.  Maybe next time!!

It was fun to take pictures in front of the SkinnyGirl backdrop too.

 

         

The conversations were a good laugh. It ranged from "Shrimp Cocktails, which is a term for what your feet look like when you wear heels and your toes are hanging over the front of them," to "Here ya go.. It's the lace and lingerie. Stick it in" or "Wanting to have a pool party in her bathtub." And let me tell you we saw the proof!

If she ever comes to a town around you, I recommend seeing her in person. 

Or make the great excuse for a girls night out like we did.

The changing of the seasons...

Sometimes friends will come and go. Within the last few months I have realized just how many of my friends are here for just the season and here for a lifetime.

I read this poem and couldn't agree more with it.



(Photo taken by Ross with RB Photography)


Reason, Season, or Lifetime



People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.



When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty;to provide you with guidance and support;to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.


— Unknown