I can not even begin to tell you the happiness I feel in my heart. It is hard to believe just a week ago, I was in tears at my doctors office. The Bravelle injections I was using, were still not at the right dose. I had misunderstood, and taken too little of a dose. This news crippled my heart, and allowed my emotions to be uncontrolled.
I left the office and tried to hold back more tears as I shut the door. In the empty hallway, I let out a gasp and couldn't stop my sobs. I rounded the corner towards the elevator, alone. A kind old woman, a stranger, stood by the elevator, she saw my hurt. She asked if I was ok, and I managed to get out, "I have fertility problems." She looked back at me with the kindest eyes and slowly brought her head down. She hesitated a minute, and then said to me, "You will have children."
Those 4 little words were in my mind all day. Would I get the chance? Would I find medication which could show me the progress I so desired? I went back to work, like many of the times before and waited for the call. I received the call later in the day and was told to up my dose and come back Monday. It was on this day, that I decided I was going to allow this in gods hands. I took the injections every day just as I was prescribed.
I went back to the fertility clinic on Monday and held my head high. When I went into the room for my ultrasound. Followed that with bloodwork, but I already knew what she would say. The Bravelle was not for me. I was left with an estrogen level of 74. It had only gone up to that from 66 and still no growth on my follicles, which I needed to proceed with an IUI.
I was blessed that day with samples of Follistim.
I went back into the fertility clinic on Wednesday and was told I had 4 follicles. All in the range from 11-12mm. This was huge!!! My estrogen level had also jumped to 461.
Today was another check-in. I have 6 "functioning" follicles, and an estrogen level of 1200. I got the clear to schedule my first IUI. I go in Sunday, and will have a second IUI to follow on Monday. I know this is a huge stepping stone, and I ask god to please allow these procedures to work.
I have found myself listening to K Love on my way to and from my appointments. It brings me peace, and calmness in these times of ups and downs. A friend, posted this versus from the Psalms. Today I share it and feel it could not have come at a more appropriate time...
"...I trust in the Lord. I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me over to the enemy but you have set my feet in a spacious place." vs. 6-8
And, later in verses 14-15 it says:
"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands..."